Five Finger Death Punch singer Ivan Moody discussed his alcohol addiction in a recent interview with Loudwire. Moody told the full story of his addiction and recovery.
He said: “The energy I put into being drunk… that was exhausting. In the mornings I would wake up on the bus and I could always judge how my day was gonna go by the reaction of everybody in the front lounge. I’d walk out in the front lounge and I’d kinda peek my head through. If everybody kinda gave me the scuff look or a dirty look, I knew something happened the night before.”
He continued: “The biggest part of it is my legacy. Just seeing peers of mine, Chester Bennington included, people that fought with addiction — Scott Weiland, Layne Staley… the list goes on and on. I didn’t want to be one of those headstones where people walked by and took pictures in front of it and had some lost fucking idea of who they thought I should be or was. It really came down to legacy. How did I want to be remembered? How did I want my kids to go through the rest of their lives answering for me? Not being proud of who their father was.”
Moody recalls that at the peak of his addiction, his bandmates no longer spoke to him, as did friends and family members. The only one he spoke to was Rob Halford, who himself struggled with addiction for years.
Moody explained: “When I was in my fifth recovery center, Rob Halford reached out to my manager. He said, ‘I really want to meet this gentleman, I want to know this kid. I want him to know there’s somebody out here who understands.’ When I was in this center, we got four phone calls a day, five minute intervals. I made it a point to call him once a day … That’s one of my heroes. Taking those phone calls meant so much to me, that somebody of a different status was reaching down for me and saying, ‘It’s okay, dude. We’ve been there. I’ve been there.’”
Now after nearly five years of sobriety, Ivan Moody offers advice to anyone struggling with substance addiction: “Nikki Sixx once told me, ‘It’s an honest program.’ That’s really fucking cheesy but it’s very, very, very true. You have to be able to identify with yourself, confront yourself and embrace the goods and the bads of yourself. You have to be willing to commit everything you’ve got to it. And when I say hate [alcohol], I’m talking worse than anything you’ve ever hated in your life. When I smell booze from across the room, I get bile in my stomach. I hate it so fucking deeply … Make it your worst fucking enemy.”